


Cookie Jar

by misura



Category: The Nice Guys (2016)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 14:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17081654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "Mr Healy helped me bake some cookies," Holly says. "They're very good."





	Cookie Jar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sanguinarily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanguinarily/gifts).



"All right, which of you jokers put cookies in the cookie jar?"

Holly gets this 'oh, Dad' expression on her face, which means he's being reasonable except not, while Healy glances up from the newspaper he's been reading, which March darkly suspects is actually _his_ newspaper, and therefore off-limits.

Well, Healy could have asked, at least. March would've said yes. Probably.

"You want me to put them somewhere else?" Healy asks, folding the newspaper and taking off his glasses. (March has _thoughts_ about those glasses. Mostly having to do with how they make Healy look like a near-sighted idiot.) "The gun jar, maybe?"

March recognizes this suggestion as dirty pool. "Look," he says, "I'm not saying that I think it's normal for people to keep a gun in a cookie jar. Do I think it's normal for people to keep a gun in their cookie jar? No, I do not think it's normal for people to keep a gun in their cookie jar. Jesus Christ. What were we talking about again?" He realizes he needs a drink. Two drinks, maybe.

"Mr Healy helped me bake some cookies," Holly says. "They're very good."

Healy smiles a bit, looking all bashful and a little proud, like any idiot can't bake some cookies or, excuse March, _assist_ in baking some cookies.

"You want one?" Holly gets up, as if March isn't already holding the damn cookie jar.

"No, I don't want a cookie first thing in the morning." March puts down the jar.

"I made coffee," Healy says, gesturing. "You want some coffee?"

March wonders who of them lives here, and who of them has merely invited himself to come inside and make snide comments and bake cookies. "Sure, I want some coffee."

Holly snatches a cookie from the jar and sits down again before March can decide on the right parenting call to make here. In theory, he supposes he's kind of on team You Bake 'Em, You Eat 'Em (and Share with Your Father). Healy's presence complicates the issue.

Healy clears his throat. "You want me to pour you a cup of coffee?"

Holly shoots him a look. Healy shrugs. March imagines the silent conversation going on between the two of them and doesn't like it.

"No, thanks. I think I got it," he says, by way of showing Holly that he is, in fact, a fully functional adult.

"Mr Healy has offered to take me grocery shopping this afternoon," Holly says.

"Mr Healy is accompanying me to meet a new client this afternoon," March replies. He takes a sip of coffee. It's very hot coffee.

"I thought we could take Holly along and, you know, drive by the store after," Healy says.

"Is that what you thought?" March blows on his coffee.

"That way, I could sit in on your meeting, too. You know, instead of you telling me about it later," Holly says. "Mr Healy agreed with me that would be much more efficient."

"Sounds like Mr Healy's got it all figured out." March tries his coffee again. "No."

"Well, it was just an idea," Healy says, like it doesn't matter.

March isn't fooled for a second. "Not a very good one. Look, honey, why don't you make a list? Or we can meet the client and get back here and then go to the store."

Holly shrugs. "All right. But you better not forget."

"When have I ever - " March starts, then decides to be smart about this. Healy's here, and clearly determined to impress Holly as a stand-up guy, so March is going to have to be sharp here. Top of his game, tip of his toes, all that jazz. "Just make the list, okay? Mr Healy will make sure we get everything." That'll teach Healy for putting cookies where no cookies have ever gone before.

Holly nods. Healy looks pleased, like things are going exactly the way he wants them to.

Happily, March knows how to fix that. "And by the way, Mr Healy keeps a gun in bed."

Healy's expression turns completely blank. Like, if March had ever even been tempted to play poker with the guy, he'd know better now.

Holly rolls her eyes. "I know the two of you're having sex and stuff, Dad."

March doesn't think he mentioned anything about sex. In fact, he's absolutely, positively sure he hasn't mentioned anything about sex. Sure, he and Healy maybe have fallen into bed together a couple of times, but it's not as if they're planning on getting married. It's not like they're having an actual relationship, a friends-with-benefits sort of thing. It's more like a series of mistakes, exacerbated by Healy's deviousness in propositioning March right when he's having a moment of weakness, and March having terrible timing in feeling horny and in need of a bit of friendly company. Which Healy isn't.

"We uh," Healy says. "The gun's not there for - it's for protection."

"For when you're sleeping and someone sneaks into your apartment to try to kill you," Holly says. "I get it. I think it's a perfectly fine place to keep a gun, Mr Healy. Only - "

"I also keep a couple in other places," Healy says. "And a shotgun."

"I don't," March says. "This is a nice neighborhood."

"That why you keep a gun in the cookie jar?" Healy asks. March swears the man's like a dog with only one bone. Never lets anything go, that's Healy.

"Kept," March says. "I _kept_ a gun in the cookie jar. It's gone now."

"You should really try a cookie, Dad," Holly says.

"If you don't, Holly and I will just have to share the last ones," Healy adds.

March supposes he should be glad they're back on track. "I don't want a cookie."

Healy grabs a cookie and eats it, making a 'boy, how delicious this cookie is' sort of face that's not fooling March for a moment.

"You're being an idiot," Holly says.

March feels proud of her.

Healy regards the two of them with perfect equanimity.

March sighs and goes to pour himself another cup of coffee.


End file.
